@jakefromstfarm3: Someone stole my mood ring and I don't know how I feel about that.
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@BallsMcBallski: My boss: Are you on Twitter? Me: I've never heard of it. Is it a drug? Why would you ask? Am I acting funny? Maybe you're acting funny.
@farleftcoast: For Christmas this year I'm going to pay my bills and look at pictures of Europe and cry.
@zgbetty: This donut scented car air freshener is going to pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
@chelseaperetti: "WHEN ARE U DUE?" WHAT DIFFERENCE COULD IT POSSIBLY MAKE IN YOUR LIFE AS A STRANGER AT THE GROCERY STORE