@goonxiety: Someone's only cute till they leave one of your texts on read.
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@AristotlesNZ: The obvious way to smuggle drugs past a drug sniffing dog would be to hide it in another dog's ass.
@KeetPotato: sheep: "why do we all look the same?" other sheep: "it freaks me out tbh" another sheep: "i dont even know which one of us is me"
@envydatropic: 75% of parenting is taking their keys to punish them And giving them back because they're driving you crazy