@goonxiety: Someone's only cute till they leave one of your texts on read.
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@AndyAsAdjective: Did you dream of me, baby? -Are you a swimming pool full of Lucky Charms & milk? No, silly. -Then no.
@FinallyHeSleeps: Somehow my beach-bod went to a dad-bod and unfortunately now it's more of a beached-dad-bod.
@amazymay72x: Me: Cleaning the basement. 12yo boy: Let me know if u need help. 13yo girl: Let me know when you're done. Yep...throwing out HER crap.
@Rollmaninoz: [enter password] *Correct* [your password is incorrect] Me: ahh that's right *incorrect* Login Successful