@blaha_Who: Sometimes after a long hard day at work, it takes me 4 bars to get home
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@Bunnydurden: I wish mirrors and cameras would get together and figure out what I really look like.
@Darlainky: My teen son complained that the house was too cold. I suggested that cleaning his room would warm him up. All of a sudden, he's not cold.
@graceful_asfuck: Nurse: What is your pain level? Me: 5 Nurse: What level is acceptable to you? Me: Uhh 0, you psycho