@Cheeseboy22: Sometimes, during the movie previews, I'll turn to the stranger sitting next to me and whisper, "We should really go see that together."
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@squirrel74wkgn: [at a party] *taps wife's shoulder* I've looked everywhere...where are all the swings? (wife pulls away from kissing Bob) "What?"
@OtherDanOBrien: [Bomb will explode in 26 seconds] *googles "how to defuse a bomb"* *clicks top result* *it's a 17-page slideshow.* GODDAMMIT *an ad plays*
@RafaelaStoakes: Iron Man Iron Man Does whatever an iron can Makes stuff hot Makes stuff flat Burns your hand Burns the cat Burns the house down . . Shit!