@ActuallyEmerson: Sometimes I answer your rhetorical questions because I think you are that stupid.
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@MartaEffing: My self esteem flared up this morning. So I put on my bikini and checked my bank account. Ahhh... That's more like it.
@thegynomite: Every selfie you post should come stamped with a number like a limited edition print. "Attempt 7 of 25".
@Tmoney68: [At microphone] *clears throat* "Salsa. Ballet. Conga. Waltz. Jitterbug. Tap." *crowd cheers* "Thanks for attending my dance recital."
@Area51eh: Me: Pack your bags.I won the lottery! G/F: Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff? Me: Doesn't matter, just get out.