@shahnischmani: Sometimes I feel awkward cause I don't quite know what to do with all my limbs, but then I imagine if I was an octopus and I feel better.
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@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Overheard 2 dad's at the playground wondering if my kid was as creepy as me. Joke's on them. I don't have kids.
@Underchilde: I don’t think Twitter’s real. I think I’m in a mall in 1987 listening to “I Think We’re Alone Now” & my mind invented Twitter to protect me.
@bromanconsul: met the cutest girl today. her eyes were gentle, like the light from a phone screen and her smile glowed, like the light from a phone screen