@roxiqt: Sometimes, I feel like everything is garbage & I get overwhelmed but then I imagine how I'd feel if I was a raccoon and suddenly, being surrounded by garbage isn't so bad. In fact, by raccoon standards, being surrounded by garbage is actually great. Life is about perspective.
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@samalmightysam: The Great Wall of China is one of the 7 wonders of the world just because it's a Chinese product that's lasted more than a month.
@robdelaney: Woman at drive-thru just called me "honey." Headed home to tell my wife to take a god damn hike.
@hippieswordfish: [in traction] Before you ask, yes you can make cheese from moose milk and no I didn't think she'd spook so easy.