@_Justin_Stepien: sometimes I fill up my bathtub with spaghetti sauce and sit in it and pretend I'm a meatball
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@slaughthie: I got called "vein" and I'm just like, k not the most vital component of the circulatory system but still essential so thank you
@Brianhopecomedy: WANTED: Sanity LAST SEEN: In store, right before I told my 4 year old that he couldn't get a new toy REWARD: 4 year old
@errdayhustlah: My kid sat on the floor of a public restroom, so I had to throw him away and now I have to make a new one. Parenting is hard, you guys.