@_Justin_Stepien: sometimes I fill up my bathtub with spaghetti sauce and sit in it and pretend I'm a meatball
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@RealLucasNeff: The ocean isn't shark-infested. It's the ocean. That's where sharks live. We aren't supposed to be there. Humans infest the ocean.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What are you doing?! 5-year-old: Hugging my sister. Me: Hugs don't start with a flying tackle. 5: Me: 5: The good ones do.
@QwertyJones3: TIME TRAVELER: I'm here from the future ME: Really? Who wins the election? TT: Omg it's such a disgrace ME: You need to be more specific