@Home_Halfway: Sometimes I get shivers in my spine just thinking about how much tougher Popeye would've been if he'd eaten fresh spinach instead of canned.
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@murrman5: "911" you gotta help, my wife is in labour in the backseat "how far apart are the contractions?" about 2 miles but I'm driving pretty fast
@ojedge: "Tim's coming tonight" "Tim with hooves for feet or Tim that likes to bang coconut halves together?" [in the distance] clip-clop clip-clop
@_Kim_Jongun: The rest of the world should fear our military. We have the most cutting edge technology 1954 had to offer.
@WarrenHolstein: Burger King is preparing to introduce a new turkey burger. Pigeons are beginning to disappear.