@Home_Halfway: Sometimes I get shivers in my spine just thinking about how much tougher Popeye would've been if he'd eaten fresh spinach instead of canned.
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@murrman5: [to the secretary before I go in for job interview] "when the music starts, hit this button and that will activate the fog machine"
@ilovepie84: Interesting that the homeless population is down and now there is a big sale of unlabeled meat at the grocery store.
@Sickayduh: Me: *goes to jail for murdering coworkers* Boss: You're still coming in early tomorrow, right?