@DirtMcTurd: Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my girl's hair. Its a nice way to let her know I love her and also that were out of napkins
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@urfavoritejoel: I say "Hey man, I got your back." He thanks me until he collapses from being spineless. I give his back to an infant. "Baby got back." I say
@stephenjmolloy: *stationary for 7 hours* Me: "Actually, I'm not sure this is one of those driverless cars."