@NickBossRoss: Sometimes I just start counting and hope the person talking to me will go hide.
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@MissNaughty1801: I find it inconsiderate that policemen always ask if I had been drinking but they never bother to ask if I had anything to eat at all
@TheCatWhisprer: [1 of 4 car accidents caused by texting & driving] PEOPLE: won't be me [1 in 292 million chance of winning powerball] PEOPLE: you never know
@truegritrumble: I once dated a girl so my pet rock wouldn't be embarrassed after he threw himself at her window.
@TheBoydP: Conspiracy theory: If they really want to catch Big Foot, why don’t they look at the factory where Christmas stockings are made?