@Kendragarden: Sometimes I like to freak my husband out by asking where this relationship is going.
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@_4kidscrazy: Me: Did you have a shirt on when you said it? Wife: I was naked, just out of the shower. Me: And you expected me to remember what you said?
@ComedicBust: I joined snapchat yesterday; apparently my phone doesn't die fast enough for my liking.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: My Roomba sucked up some cocaine & cleaned the entire house in 5 mins. Now my jewelry's missing & the Roomba's trying to bang the blender.