@JosesLovesYou: Sometimes I loiter outside of Victoria's Secret just so people think I have a girlfriend.
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@panmidwest: [waiter brings plate of seaweed wrapped sushi] ME-what do I do with this? W-eat it lol M-all of it? W-yes M-alright..[nervously bites plate]
@doktorj: ER: Ma'am, are you allergic to any medications? Me: I'm not answering your silly questions until you give me the wifi password.