@MyPornKhan: Sometimes, I look at the kids of today and think, "Thank god I'll be dead by the time you grow up."
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@TheBeerGuy73: Today I saw a bird shit on somebody for no apparent reason at all. Then I thought of you.
@bacon_gillepic: Puts cardboard cutout of myself at my desk a week ago* Receives check* Dang I just got a raise
@Quartzjixler: I am so proud to be part of a society that needs television commercials to remind us not to lock our kids in hot cars.