@JediGigi: Sometimes I need "Eye of the Tiger" playing to get me to leave my bed.
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@AnOrangeSNES: In retrospect, dressing as a killer whale when I was assigned to assassinate the Pope wasn't my best idea. I blame Ubisoft, honestly.
@Deurb1: The lady in front of me wearing yoga pants keeps bending over to pick up quarters, hope she will for dimes too, as I'm out of quarters.
@twylaredsun: Sending a second cup of coffee down to check on the first one to see why it's not doing its job.
@hansabumsadaisy: #rubbishjokes What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth? The slowest swimmer.