@heartbread: sometimes i remember i was part of the nsa hack back in spring / that all my data is currently floating around china and i'm like "cool"
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@jordan_stratton: Just once, I'd like to sleep as deeply as a cartoon sheriff whose keys are dangling seductively from his belt.
@noog: The year is 2020. Hip hop has fully merged with dubstep, creating the genre of music known as Dubhop. All hope for mankind is lost
@Reverend_Scott: Fun Fact: Organic milk only comes from cows that do yoga and moo about being a vegetarian or marathons they were in.
@Scdavis24: That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto correct is like.... 'I've got nothing man.'