@heartbread: sometimes i remember i was part of the nsa hack back in spring / that all my data is currently floating around china and i'm like "cool"
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@simoncholland: You can just start calling yourself an olympic hopeful. You don't have to fill out a form or anything.
@TheNardvark: Pretty cool that Sarah Connor saved mankind by raw-dogging a total stranger claiming to be a time traveller at the height of the AIDS scare.
@TheTweetOfGod: Justin Bieber's home has now been thoroughly searched, but police have uncovered no evidence of talent.
@jonnysun: ME: my ideal first date? well to me it dosent matter wat we do as long as we share a conection JOB INTERVIEWER: i meant how soon can u start