@afloodofblood: Sometimes I spend so much time on Twitter in the bathroom that I actually pee twice.
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@audipenny: Sorry I was asleep when you texted me and just woke up when we ran into each other just now
@PajamaStew: "Welcome to the future. Let me show you around. Here's the bathroom. This is a robot that we invented that screams at your wet hands."
@matt_simpson84: My wife and I have an ongoing game called "Wipe Boogers on Stuff in the House" that she doesn't know we are playing