@That1chk: Sometimes I think I'm too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to shit.
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@CatherineLMK: "I'm $50 away from getting free shipping which is only $5 and what I want is $12 so I need to spend $38 more to save money." -my brain
@moose_chocolate: I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating the entire box of donuts.
@samalmightysam: I don't know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
@RodneyH42: A study shows that 50% of adults would fail an 8th grade math exam The other 40% of us would rock that shit