@That1chk: Sometimes I think I'm too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to shit.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@noneofyours99: * thinks of a tweet before falling asleep * decided to remember a "key word* so I can remember it * wakes up * forgot key word
@FakeDeanAccount: I like to reinvent myself every year, last year I was a small Italian woman and the year before that a bear.
@Terdoh: I had a dream where children were allowed to pick their parents, and I woke up thinking "This is not The Gates' residence."
@david8hughes: [me narrating a documentary about grasshoppers] And here we see these little liars hopping on sand.