@9to5Life: Sometimes I think we're all going to be okay. Other times I read Yahoo Answers.
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@stephenjmolloy: Ian: "I'd like to report my guide dog missing." Cop: "Right. When did you last see him?" Ian: "I've never seen him."
@Lerky: Me: Hey Mr. DJ, do you take requests? Dj: Yes. M: Excellent, can you turn it down a bit.
@Storminika: Me: "Dude, I brought another dress for you to clean." Dry cleaner: *takes off headphone* "Sorry, come again?" Me: "No, mustard."
@BlindChow: In the 17th century, villagers would burn down entire neighborhoods to combat diseases such as bubonic plague, typhus, and gluten.