@charstarlene: Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don't wanna have to explain why I'm in your 'Random Party Pics 08' album at 4am.
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@LeBearGirdle: *Giving TED talk* Me: *points at guy* sir, reach under your chair! *he does and a mousetrap snaps* Me: trust no one *audience claps*
@cambuslad: You know you're getting old when you scroll down the birthday drop down menu ... And it starts going into Roman Numerals.
@1Bad_Scientist: The Martian, 2015: Matt Damon tries to prove how Irish he is by growing potatoes on Mars then leaving because he's hungry.