@charstarlene: Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don't wanna have to explain why I'm in your 'Random Party Pics 08' album at 4am.
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@ThRealBallsDeep: Sorry I threw firewood at you and yelled "shoo", but with the amount of eye liner you wear, you resemble the raccoons that raided my cooler.
@BarebakAssassin: Some people don't realize how grateful they should be that I'm not allowed to carry a sword in public.
@SortaBad: You say tomato. I say tomato. Our eyes meet. We've decided on the perfect name for our baby
@iAmDelFreaky: Some hipsters were camping next to me and asked for help starting a fire. So, I chased one around until his corduroys burst into flames.