@charstarlene: Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don't wanna have to explain why I'm in your 'Random Party Pics 08' album at 4am.
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@jasonlight73: After my date orders, I always tell the waiter "Nothing for me..I'll be eating later" Then wink at my date & raise my eyebrows suggestively!
@CaptainJerkwad: Hate being a funeral director "why'd u take the job?" I inherited it from my dad "You could've just declined it" And lose my first customer?
@DanaSchwartzzz: *to the tune of Losing My Religion* That's me in the corner That's me at the cheese plate Eating all your crackers
@SortaSarcastic: 90% of life is just having the courage to show up. The other 30% is just checking the math.