@TheMainlandBlog: Sometimes I wish you could ask the pharmacist to "make it a double".
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@maurex23: [spelling bee] -your word is 'amnesia' -can you use it a sentence, please? -your word is 'amnesia'
@kelkulus: Woke up with no money. I was robbed last night by a guy who looks exactly like me, but drunker.
@jimmy_sharpe: [lights focus on guy in interrogation room] "Say it. SAY IT." *points at sign saying "Worcestershire Sauce"*