@TheMainlandBlog: Sometimes I wish you could ask the pharmacist to "make it a double".
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@callie_cakes: Ex picked up the kids, brought me coffee & took out my trash. This divorce thing is really working out for me.
@gobmentcheese: Lying dead in a closed coffin at my funeral, and yet somehow I still manage to spill mustard on my shirt.
@liv_thatsme: I always bring 2 pop tarts to work, so I can eat one now and the other one also now.