@HumanPog: sometimes if i'm having trouble falling asleep i just pretend i'm watching lord of the rings
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@UNTRESOR: If a tree falls in the woods it should break into a light jog so it looks like it did it on purpose.
@DirtyMelodies: I want my boyfriend to get a tattoo on his neck so I won't have to worry about him getting a job and not having time to hang out with me.
@CodyJP9412: [creating the armadillo] GOD: I want a half turtle, ANGEL: Okay G: Half pig, A: Okay, I'm on it- G: Half anteater A: ...Are u drunk G: Very
@BadaBinge: Thanks for nothing autocorrect, I'm never gonna get chicks being a "homeless romantic".