@HumanPog: sometimes if i'm having trouble falling asleep i just pretend i'm watching lord of the rings
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@ArfMeasures: ME: Jesus Christ, this is the slowest train I've ever travelled on BRIDE: Someone please get this prick off my dress
@martyntanton: Just been banned from my church's Easter service. Apparently the first words Jesus spoke after emerging from his tomb weren't "Ta-Daa!"