@Parentpains: Sometimes I'll tell my wife the car is making a weird noise and I need to listen just so I don't have to hear her talk.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MurphyMcLachlan: Doc I keep throwing up Did u eat anything odd lately No What about that bottle youre holding labelled "lizard juice" You said eat, idiot
@Deirdreocx: [First date] "So, do you have any pets?" Yeah, I have a pet crow. He's white. "You have an albino crow?" He prefers the term cawcasian.
@Elifcello: I switched my cellphone to 'airplane mode' and threw it up into the air.. must tell you: WORST. TRANSFORMER. EVER.
@AmericanGent69: *holds flashlight under chin Me: suddenly the mystery of... Son: haha Dad has like 3 chins *drops flashlight Me: SANTA CLAUS IS FAKE!!