@Underchilde: Sometimes it looks like I’m flashing gang signs, but really I’m just trying to get Scotch tape off my hand.
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@weinerdog4life: If I was a police sketch artist I would be like "is this the guy?" And they would be like "nope that's a barn" because I can only draw barns
@TheMichaelRock: All I did was compliment a coworker on their fantastic mustache, and now I'm in HR's office. Thanks a lot, Megan!
@TuffyNyC: My ear is bleeding because I tried to shave it. Now I have to create some elaborate lie to tell ppl how I cut my ear.