@Underchilde: Sometimes it looks like I’m flashing gang signs, but really I’m just trying to get Scotch tape off my hand.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@nbadag: FRIEND: get our wedding invitation? ME: i did, somebody hand wrote 'do not bring pan flute' F: yea i really wanted to make sure you saw that
@daemonic3: [1st date] HER: So do you have any hobbies? SALT SHAKER: Nice dress! It would look great on my floor HER: What?! HIM: Just ventriloquism
@HiddenPinky: Hi, I'd like a salamus sandwich, please. "You mean salami?" No, just a single salamus. "People who make Latin jokes are a bunch of ani."