@sarcasticmommy4: Sometimes passing by a nursing home is the only reminder I need to go buy my kids whatever they want.
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@2tickytacky: If your date asks what you do for a living, just say "You let me worry about that."
@weinerdog4life: I've been putting my sunglasses on and walking away from things in slow motion all day, nothing has exploded yet.
@AimeeHelene1: "It's the holidays" *eats a pizza* "It's the holidays" *eats 3 cheeseburgers* "It's the holidays" *eats my food, your food & a small baby*