@MicheleAKALips: Sometimes when I'm bored I send a text to a random number saying, "ok they're dead, what do I do with the body?"
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@thejakeshenry: I was pretty excited about this box of elbows before I saw that it was only macaroni.
@wesjohnson8: "What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?" Officer, "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."
@MadcapsTPS: They refused to take my order just because I was wearing a dastardly Dracula cape. The people at the blood bank have no sense of humour.