@UrbanDouchebag: Sometimes when I'm feeling lonely, I write a letter to a prison inmate to tell them how much better my life is than theirs.
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@causticbob: Piers Morgan has taken a very strong stance against guns, and who can blame him? If you had a gun, you'd shoot him too.
@junejuly12: Shout out to the person who had the balls to open the first no kids allowed restaurant
@ibid78: After I undress you with my eyes I redress you with my eyes because it's still January so it's super cold out and I have considerate eyes.