@chaddaniels34: Sometimes when my wife tells me she loves me I get the feeling it's the tennis kind.
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@NolaChef504: When my boss is mad and takes it out on me, I do less work. Can't reward bad behavior with a positive response. Training works both ways
@Dawn_M_: Not sure if I actually like movies or just like looking at something while I eat popcorn.
@ibid78: [interview for CIA] Your résumé says you're a master in hand-to-hand wombat. Is that a typo or- *I've already thrown a wombat at his face*
@danjan13: Empty out and clean a mace container. Fill with water Stare into the eyes of your enemies as you spray your own eyes and never blink