@chaddaniels34: Sometimes when my wife tells me she loves me I get the feeling it's the tennis kind.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@squirrel74wkgn: *drops off box to Salvation Army* "Sir, why is this box marked W I F E?" *peels out*
@orange_rhymer: [robbing bank] leader: go in & grab everything you can *i go in to grab loot* Me: (yanking pen chain, increasingly panicked) no no No NO NO-