@chaddaniels34: Sometimes when my wife tells me she loves me I get the feeling it's the tennis kind.
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@1Bad_Scientist: Boss: I'm sorry but we have to let you go. Me: Really? That's not what these pics of you and your secretary said. They said I need a raise.
@Iwriteforcats: I'm gonna leave this world just like I came in, dawg! "Yo, for sure. Kickin and screamin!" Nah, brah. On a giant spaceship.