@chaddaniels34: Sometimes when my wife tells me she loves me I get the feeling it's the tennis kind.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ilovepie84: Mall security asked me to empty my pockets. My response was "you won't find a better job or respect in my pockets"
@Snotgun: I've conditioned myself to only poop at work. Now my bathroom smells great but I can't take more than 2 days off w/o terrible constipation.
@Underchilde: I hate it when I have lots of visitors but only enough chloroform for one and have to use it on myself.