@Paxochka: Sometimes you look at an ex and think maybe they're not so bad. And then they start to talk and remind you why you hate them.
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@bananainches: Guys, I just got myself a new liquor cabinet! The salesperson keeps calling it a 3 bedroom house for some reason. but its a liquor cabinet.
@scottthetwat: Homes are 750 square feet larger today than they were 30 years ago. Unfortunately, so are most Americans.
@ibid78: "Babe there's something I've always wanted to do.." *tenderly moves her bangs away from her eyes then scotch tapes them to her forehead*
@Tharin_P: Whoever you are, you can't deny that Harry Potter & the Fallopian Tubes sounds like a legitimate title. Don't act like you wouldn't read it.