@SCbchbum: “Son, would you like to go to college some day, or would you like to keep ordering guac? Your choice.”
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@NerishaLakha: I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down...... inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
@EndhooS: [Looking at ultrasound monitor with my wife] Wife: Look at it's little heart beating! Isn't it amazing... Me: It looks like a crossiant
@GoldenSpirals: A truck just flipped a dead squirrel onto my windshield and it's stuck in my wiper. I guess I don't have to stop to get supper tonight.