@briangaar: Son your teacher called, she said you wrote "AQUAMAN RULZ" all over your math test. [sigh] First of all, Aquaman doesnt have any good powers
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@Izianikapani: I threw a boomerang yesterday and it didn't come back. How long do you reckon before it's safe to turn around?
@oxygenplug: If I was a doctor I would scare my patients by pretending to go check google every time they asked me a question
@moose_chocolate: "Carrie" is my favourite movie about how religious faith leads to supernatural mass murder.
@grantgirl2004: A large account followed me to thank me for a trophy through DM, then immediately unfollowed me. It must be exhausting to be Twitter elite.