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-70% of True Blood dialogue
@Jayneymoo: I don't really care who came first, the chicken or the egg.
I'm just glad somebody decided both could be broken and fried.
@Izianikapani: "Just dashing to the shops"
Woman [showers, washes hair, styles hair, puts on make up, chooses outfit, irons clothes]
Man [grabs car keys]
@InternetHippo: elephant: i’m thirsty, how do i drink
mother nature: inhale water & squirt it from ur nose directly into ur mouth
elephant: what the hell
@envydatropic: Friends don't let friends drive drunk but I don't want them staying at my house
And that's why Uber was created
@AndrewChamings: In an alternate universe there is only one movie about falling in love, but thousands about swapping faces with John Travolta.