@Darlainky: "Sorry about this, but I ran out of allergy medicine and it's spring," I say to the frightened pharmacy clerk through my hazmat suit.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ItsAndyRyan: Wife: Can you phone the school to see if it's open? Me: I'll go there and ask Wife: It's ten minutes away Me: I enjoy the walk Wife: It's SNOWING Me: I will literally do anything to avoid making a phone call
@Proxic0n: COPS: We know you killed him ME: I didn't do it! COPS: really? *starts playing Shakira* ME: wait no MY HIPS: HE'S UNDER THE FLOOR BOARDS
@Surhailo: Ain't no sunshine when she's gone, but there sure are a lot of unauthorized charges on the credit card.