@Contwixt: Sorry but if these walls could talk I'm pretty sure they'd talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you're blowing out of proportion.
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@Elizasoul80: Bees aren't disappearing. Trump has been secretly deporting them because he thinks pollination is a hoax created by the Chinese.
@Darlainky: The inventor of the elevator should be credited for the birth of awkward silence as well.
@birbigs: Instead of presents, give your kids "presence." Then explain how homonyms can be hilarious. Then leave forever.
@ashleyaustrew: You have -4 min to cook. Your ingredients are: Goldfish An apple w/ 1 bite out of it Chicken you didn't thaw 7 Legos - Chopped: Moms Edition