@briangaar: Sorry girl, you know you were dating a bad boy *heads out to fight boss without saving or buying potions*
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@JimHeskett: My buddy used to say "why should I wash my towels? After I shower, I'm the cleanest thing in the room." He's still single.
@hippieswordfish: ME: I JUST WENT TO THAT NEW SALON WHERE THEY CUT YOUR HAIR OFF BY SHOOTING IT WITH A GUN FRIEND: oh cool how was it ME: WHAT
@AGreaterMonster: If cupcakes could talk, boy, there sure would be a lot of screaming in my house.