@briangaar: Sorry girl, you know you were dating a bad boy *heads out to fight boss without saving or buying potions*
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@hippieswordfish: In the future when cats rule the world, the currency will be Cuteness and i will be a poor and lonely man
@Breadery: My daughter: Do you want a kiss daddy? Me: Of course. My daughter: Does it make you sad that no other girls want to kiss you? Me: Thanks.
@EndhooS: Surgeon: I'll be taking out your appendix today Me: [stomach rumbles] Surgeon: [puts stethoscope to my tummy] Appendix: I have a boyfriend
@J_Recommends: My sister read '50 Shades of Grey' and relayed some of its explicit content. I pretended to think those things are shocking, too.