@UrFavAsianGuy: Sorry girls, I'm no Bruno Mars, I won't catch a grenade for you. In fact, if such situation ever happened, I'd use you as a human shield.
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@buhsbaby_baby: If by "be (your) girlfriend" you mean "catch spiders and hide them in your pockets everyday" then yes, I'll be your girlfriend.
@drinksmcgee: Woman with thick Russian accent: You are very sexy. Me (Blushing): Aw shucks. W: No… I use wrong word… sweaty... is correct? M: ….
@mrjohndarby: In the middle of an important meeting I quietly pass my boss a post-it note. It just says 'girl cats have wherskers'. He nods
@Contwixt: If you tell me your kid is 22 months and I buy it a beer, that's on you. That is your bad.