@Laser_Cat: Sorry, grandma. You stood up. You have to be Slim Shady now.
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@causticbob: I failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding over a stage direction. My copy of the script said: 'Enter Juliet from the rear'
@weinerdog4life: Huge sale this weekend, we have too many mountain lions, please come buy a mountain lion, this was a horrible business plan, one guy got ate
@causticbob: An Italian engineer was kidnapped in Nigeria. Demands were sent via email to his family, but they just got deleted as spam.