@Laser_Cat: Sorry, grandma. You stood up. You have to be Slim Shady now.
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@chuuew: The inventor of rock, paper, scissors must have been an extremely dangerous man if he considered paper a weapon.
@ojedge: *turns up to a yoga class in full Master Yoda costume* "Oh dear. Misread the flyer, I have."
@InternetHippo: Me: Going to stop being mad. Maybe take up meditation Person in front of me at Chipotle: I'm ordering for 5 people Me: I will kill you