@thetigersez: Sorry I booped your nose when you said that you loved me.
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@TheToddWilliams: [principal's office] "Your child's previous school indicates you're a bit of a helicopter parent." Velociraptor: That's got to be a typo.
@GuttaLikeNoOtha: My son: Mommy I can't wait to grow up and be a man. Me: Don't be silly son, you can't do both