@Parentpains: Sorry I can't attend your Facebook event, I'll be busy throwing myself off a cliff that day.
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@murrman5: [on way to play charades with gf's family] I don't wanna go why I don't wanna look silly you won't *first thing I have to act out is pasta*
@SamGrittner: JOSEPH AND MARY: We’ll stay in the manger, we don’t care INN MANAGER: Fine. Just don’t make a scene
@YimsterFife: I woke up with a horse's head in my bed. And straw. And the rest of the horse's body. And cows. And a tractor. And this is a barn, I guess.