@Parentpains: Sorry I can't attend your Facebook event, I'll be busy throwing myself off a cliff that day.
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@beefman138: I have done about 300 crunches for my new exercise routine. 299 of them are Nestlé.
@UNTRESOR: [meeting GF's mom] Wow! This must be your sister! Your baby sister! *shakes keys in front of her face* I'm overselling this, aren't I?
@ScottLinnen: So many haunted "mansions." Sad how this country is killing the middle class ghost.