@DurtMcHurtt: Sorry I changed your ringtone to Salt-N-Pepa's "push it" and called you a bunch of times during your colonoscopy.
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@joe_binkley: Women's deodorant: Spring Breeze, Lilac, Gentle Sunshine. Men's deodorant: Sport, Mountain, Forest Fire, Rage, Fistfight, Childhood Angst.
@OneFunnyMummy: My kids and I are exact opposites. They cry when I walk away, and I cry when they walk towards me.
@joeljeffrey: I'm not afraid of identity theft. Go ahead and enjoy being broke and having my dad call you a failure.