@DurtMcHurtt: Sorry I changed your ringtone to Salt-N-Pepa's "push it" and called you a bunch of times during your colonoscopy.
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@TheSharona06: My Fitbit was delivered today. It's still sitting in the mailbox because I don't want to walk all the way out there.
@Jubafisher: If you're having a rough day, remember there are people out there with their ex's names tattooed on them.
@jonnysun: "evreytime god closes a door, he opens a window" - me, tryimg to convince my clients their house isnt haunted