@DurtMcHurtt: Sorry I changed your ringtone to Salt-N-Pepa's "push it" and called you a bunch of times during your colonoscopy.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Suicide Squad spoiler: Jared Leto's Joker is so twisted he puts big spoons in the drawer slots where the little spoons go.
@causticbob: "He looks just like his grandfather" is a cute thing said about a new baby in most parts of the world. In Alabama,it's more of an accusation
@blaha_Who: [1st Date] Her: Ask me something you really want to know about me... Me: Ever had the urge to water balloon fight someone until death?