@OhNoSheTwitnt: Sorry I commented on that video of your kid taking his first steps with "aw look you taught it how to walk on its hind legs!"
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@dafloydsta: Whenever I get a "Final Notice" letter from a bill collector, I assume this concludes our business transaction.
@RandomAntics: gonna have me one of them sexy closed-casket funerals, leave somethin to the imagination
@goodhairperson: I forgot the word "torch" earlier today so I googled "fire on a stick." I have two degrees in English.
@ch000ch: honestly it just makes me fat free italian when u tell me salad dressings aren't a good way to describe emotions