@lisaxy424: Sorry I commented "yikes" on that pic of your baby you posted on facebook.
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@mynameisntdave: GENIE: u get 3 wishes! ME: for my first wish, I want a never-ending bowl of guac GENIE: guac, huh? Yeah, that's gonna cost you an extra wish
@IamEnidColeslaw: If a tree falls in the woods can I stand under it so I don't have to go to work tomorrow?
@shanethevein: I'm sorry I punched you when you said "Facebook me". I thought you said "Face punch me".
@Awk0Tacoo: Every chick magazine ever: You're beautiful and are perfect just the way you are! How to loose ten pounds in ten days you fat, ugly cow.