@lisaxy424: Sorry I commented "yikes" on that pic of your baby you posted on facebook.
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@truegritrumble: CREEPY DUDE: I'll give you some candy if you get in the van. HANSEL: He seems nice. GRETEL: I'm starting to think you wanna die.
@fivethirtyeight: Becoming hard to tell difference between credible news organizations like 4chan and troll sites like New York Post.
@tnylgn: Keeping tic-tacs in your pocket lets people know you're more embarrassed of your breath than you are of sounding like a human maraca
@sofarrsogud: ME: Cauliflower is bullshit. EXECUTIONER: Those are really gonna be your last words?