@IamEnidColeslaw: sorry I cut you off mid-sentence so I could sprint after an ice cream truck
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@HousewifeOfHell: I just read that pandas don't have many opportunities for sex, and then don't know how to do it. Finally found my spirit animal.
@Tw1tter_K1tten: Saw a homeless white girl begging for money. I didn't give her any, because I know how they are, always blowing it on Starbucks.
@j0hnonline: Hi we're a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can't ever find our dog.