@IamEnidColeslaw: sorry I cut you off mid-sentence so I could sprint after an ice cream truck
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@shkeeber: Accepting a Facebook friend request from someone you follow on twitter is like bringing home your drug dealer to meet your family.
@OctopusCaveman: Next time you hand someone a roll of toilet paper under the stall, hold their hand for a while. Let them know it's gonna be okay.
@laurajennyjo: *knock knock* Go away I'm not home "I can hear you" I can hear you too..go away "I brought food" What kind of food
@Maxine12333: Kids are easy to care for until they learn to roll over. After that you're never sure what they're up to for the rest of their lives.