@ForEllieSylvia: Sorry I flinched when you told me you loved me. I've been practicing my poker face. Can we try again?
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@WilliamRodgers: Waitress: And what can I get for you, hon? Jesus: I'll have........ (snickering) a water
@doktorj: If anyone needs me, I'll be spending the rest of my life under this bathroom light that gives my abs a hint of definition.
@rickolantern: The worst is when you're on a cruise ship that turns into an Autobot to fight a sea monster and you had a decent game of shuffleboard going
@glittergirlD43: Hey NSA... I accidentally deleted an email... Can I get you to forward me your copy?