@ForEllieSylvia: Sorry I flinched when you told me you loved me. I've been practicing my poker face. Can we try again?
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@reeni730: Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence.
@SunshineJarboly: not a day goes by that i don't think about dying and then accidentally getting sent to squirrel heaven
@TrueQuixote: Computer backup systems are expensive so I include "Death To America" in my email signature & the NSA backs up everything I've ever written.
@T_Bonezzz: Been dating this new chick and some days i like her and some days i don't. so i made her a mixed signal tape