@ForEllieSylvia: Sorry I flinched when you told me you loved me. I've been practicing my poker face. Can we try again?
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@Vodkantots: [on first date] Him: What's your sign? Me: Vertigo Him: You mean Virgo? Me: I mean your stupid fucking questions are making me dizzy.
@Tw1tter_K1tten: This medicine says I should not operate heavy machinery, so I guess I won't be doing laundry for the next two weeks. Safety first.