@iRowlf: Sorry I hacked your e-cig. You've actually been vaping a dead bird for a month.
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@sheseemslegit: Dear Fox news, I have yet to see any news about foxes. Sincerely, disappointed viewer.
@Skoogeth: Cop: so are you guys in some sort of polyamorous sex thing? Raphael: what? no we're brothers. Cop: oh. It's just with the matching outfits I thought- Leonardo: no we like girls. human girls Cop: is that... is that less weird?
@UnFitz: Her: Going out with the girls. Me: Please give my best to the coven. Her: Me: Did I say that out loud?
@Rlpihl: u guys like coachella? u know who else was in a desert with people who didn't shower? Moses. hi i'm your new youth pastor Keith