@iRowlf: Sorry I hacked your e-cig. You've actually been vaping a dead bird for a month.
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@GoldenSpirals: No matter how prepared you think you are, a retractable vacuum cord will always find the weakness in your defense.
@mortimermaiden: *signing sign in sheet* (to myself): This will be worth a lot once I'm famous. Hospital Nurse: Alright let's get that pea out of your ear.
@webofevil: Genuinely stunned France has adopted the word "wifi" rather than "le signal librement accessible sans l'utilisation de fils" or some shit.