@Home_Halfway: Sorry I just saw your text from last night, are you guys still at the restaurant
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@PellMull: I go under the police tape, approach the chalk outlined body, and flash my subway sandwich card. "Ok what do we got here?"
@thenatewolf: *on a first date* Me: [remembering how my friend said women like mysterious men] my favorite color is a secret
@RidiculousSheri: *me looking at a police lineup* Number 3 is cute. OMG Is he single? Give him my number! What? Oh. Right. Five. Number 5 killed my grandpa.