@hashtag_stacks: 'Sorry I liked your Facebook status, I was using my laptop as a plate'- my autobiography
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@Brampersandon_: How did the date go? -Not good. Aww what went wrong? -*thinks back to accidentally popping a zit into her soup* She just wasn't my type.
@noduffers: If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it.
@FierceMess: Wanna live a long life? Get married. I guarantee you'll change your mind real quick.
@TheRolo: 911: What is your emergency? Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.