@hashtag_stacks: 'Sorry I liked your Facebook status, I was using my laptop as a plate'- my autobiography
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@SortaBad: *Spends 30 min practicing Starbucks order in mirror* *Feels confident* *"Hi I'd like a grander ahoy Ralph Macchioatto lateenbay"* *dammit*
@DillDoes: *throws king crab into tank of normal crabs* Go, lead them to freedom, this is your birthright
@DaddyJew: Oatmeal cookies always be the last ones in a variety pack looking up at you like "how badly do you want a cookie?"