@DrPussyMagnet: sorry i lost my nudes can u send me yours
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@carlyken: If your kid complains about how bored they are during winter break put a cape on them and say, "Now you're super bored!" and then fly away.
@kashanacauley: Can't believe there are so many songs about love and only one where someone welcomes someone else to a jungle.
@mellimelle: Just because I'm Irish doesn't mean I am always drunk. It means I always want to be.
@fanofhell: guy: hey that's a great truck. what kinda engine? me: [rubbing the hood] it's got a truck engine