@Sal0630: Sorry I pissed on the walls of your bathroom, but the flowery wall paper made me think I was outside.. Also you're out of Valium
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@DeanB15: Straight guys on twitter, If you haven't been hit on by a gay guy on here take a long look at yourself & figure out what's wrong with you.
@iinkedZombie: The horn quit working in my truck, so I'm hanging out of the window revving this chainsaw at pedestrians.
@bridger_w: When arguing, I let the other person speak first, then help them see my point by starting with, "Now, what I'm about to say is correct"
@MaraWritesStuff: Hey kids, remember the feeling you got when you cleaned your room without being asked and no one noticed? That's what adulthood's like.