@Swishergirl24: Sorry I referred to your baby shower as a gift extortion party.
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@DukEB51: You know you're getting old when you fall down and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
@slimmy_shady: My neighbour hit the post reversing out of the driveway. He hit the poor man delivering it too.
@LuvPug: "So kids, I was married to your mom & I met this girl on Twitter, we started DMing and one thing led to another" -How I Met Your Stepmother